Getting to Know “Straight Friendly” Psychotherapist Adam Maurer

In this week’s Tell Me About Yourself, we’re celebrating Austin-based psychotherapist Adam Maurer, LMFT, LPC, who self-describes as “straight friendly.” Pretty awesome, I know. Check out the interview below!

How would you describe your job to a 3-year-old (okay maybe a 15 y/o)?

I create a safe, supportive environment for folx to confront the challenges life has given them while helping them access their own tools to successfully address those issues.

What inspired you to get into your field?

I came out in therapy when I was 20 and realized how powerful the relationship can be, so I was inspired to help other folx have similar experiences.

What is the most rewarding aspect of your job?

Being a therapist is bittersweet. If I do my job well I talk myself out of a job. I help people build a support [system] outside of therapy and then they are better able to cope with the chaos of life. I love seeing people launch after treatment.

What is the most challenging aspect of your job?

Educating people with compassion, there are many harmful myths about relationships, sex, love, and gender. My role is often to gently help people challenge their preconceived notions with empathy.

What 3 words would your clients use to describe you?

Authentic, Compassionate, Openminded

Why do clients love working with you?

Folx love working with me because I challenge the common place and encourage them to live a life worthy of them. I offer kindness with a dash of salty firmness, and just a hint of humor. I see therapy as a collaborative process, and I work with clients to tap into their own power to create change.

What advice would you give to people to advocate for themselves with their health care providers (aka you)?

Shop around and make sure your psychotherapist is a great fit for you. Someone might take your insurance or be close to your office, but those conveniences might not lead to the results you’re hoping for, so invest wisely. Too many people have come to me because I specialize in relationships that are more than monogamous and other clinicians did not know how to work with them. Well-meaning professionals who just weren’t a great fit.

To learn more, check out Adam’s website and Instagram!

Must be looooooove on the braaaaain 🧠. Or was that s£x? 👀🤭 Our brains are our largest s£x organs and sometimes they get a little sad, hyperactive, anxious, or overwhelmed. You won’t always be in the mood for s£x and that’s okay! Keep communication with your partner open and ongoing, check in with yourself and your mental health, and lean on the support of a trusted therapist or doctor if you need some extra guidance. 🫶🏽 Anything you would add?

I mean 😏

It is not wrong nor should it feel shameful to ✨seek pleasure.✨ I think those of us who grew up more religious were taught that you should always be in service of others and giving of yourself rather than concerned with our own needs or passions. While it is wonderful to be generous with giving (and can in fact be a source of pleasure), it should be equally encouraged to pursue your own pleasure — it whatever form it may take! It may feel self-indulgent, but why is that a bad thing? Pleasure boosts our mental health. It helps us cope with a difficult world, with anxiety, depression, and stress. It makes us feel good! It gives us something to look forward to. Pleasure helps us connect with others and with ourselves. Pleasure (as long as it is not at the expense of someone else’s safety or well-being) should be a priority, for our joy and for our health. It really is so important! Where do you find pleasure? I personally love a good massage… 💆🏽‍♀️

It’s time for a talk, friend. Let’s be clear, you nor your partner ever has to do *anything* you’re not comfortable with. That said, if it’s something you enjoy and that’s pleasurable to you, it’s okay to ask your partner for it! They can say no, but if they invalidate your pleasure, much less expect you to do something they won’t do?? The ball is then in your court to decide if this is the partner for you. You deserve someone who cares about and prioritizes your pleasure. Who is thrilled to be acquainted with your body, all of it! S-x can be vulnerable to talk about, but when you do…it’s so much better. 👅 included. Ask your partner what their hesitations are and have a *conversation.* Maybe they’re nervous, intimidated, or struggling with shame. Maybe they’re down to try other things you would enjoy and build up to it. The point is, it shouldn’t just be automatically dismissed. You can decide what’s right for you and what makes you feel aroused, validated, and appreciated. Whatever you do, don’t internalize their rejection. Your body is beautiful, desirable, and definitely worthy of pleasure. 😋🥰

A UK study published in the International Urogynecology Journal found that only 46% of participants correctly identified that a female has 3 holes in the external genitalia. 😬 Not great. We’re taught so desperately little about our bodies and so discouraged from exploring them that we don’t even know what we’ve got going on down there! Understanding your own anatomy (and getting educated on your partner’s anatomy) can boost pleasure 1000x!! So take a mirror, use your hands, and get comfy exploring! 🪞🕵🏽‍♀️ And if you really want to get informed (and inspired 😉), head to our website for our basics on pleasure and anatomy. What do you think? Could YOU correctly label a diagram of what lies beneath?

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