Spice Things Up With Bae With These 6 Gifts

When you’re feeling naughty, you deserve something nice.

There are countless articles with tips and tricks to keep your relationship hot and heavy. It’s a common question for people in long-term relationships and, as we call them, “situationships” alike. Respect, communication, flirtation, spontaneity, mixing things up, and trying new activities are key to keeping your mindset fresh and feeling excited by your partner. In the words of the fabulous sex and relationship expert Dr. Jesssica O’Reilly, “The key to reigniting your spark is simple: Be more playful. Laugh more. Find the fun in being together.” These gift ideas are sure to add some playfulness to your sexy time routine and channel your inner ho ho ho!

This article was written in partnership with the following brands.

Chickie Emojibator

$89
Emojibator

A Match.com study found that people who have more sex tend to use more emojis. Well I’ll be! Emojibator came onto the scene with their iconic eggplant vibrator to bring this statistic to life and add a new category of pleasure for playful, but powerful vibes to empower your self-love. The witty brand recently launched two new products: The Chickie (seen here) ? and The Shark ?. Both super powerful. Both super clever. The Chickie is a suction toy with 8 suction and 8 vibration settings. It’s waterproof (of course) and seriously adorable. Chickie is the perfect gift for a friend or sibling with a great sense of humor and an even better sense of pleasure.

Use code TABU for 15% off through 1/1/19!

CLUCK YEAH!

Self-Love Vulva Kit

$94.95
The KinkKit

If you’re looking for the perfect gift to spoil your partner, your bff, or your own d*mn self, check out the limited edition Self Love Vulva Kit from The KinkKit. From 60-second meditations, to goddess bath rituals, to a 30-Day “Date Yourself” challenge, this gift is the perfect treat for uninterrupted, unapologetic me me me me ME time. Given that The KinkKit generally focuses on couples play, I asked Founder Candice Smith, why a box for self-love? Her response had me wanting to shout vulva from the mountaintops. She told me, “Shame and the vulva go hand in hand in nearly all patriarchal cultures. It’s literally coded into the English language—did you know that one of the medieval words for ‘pussy’ (‘pudendum’) comes from the latin ‘pudere,’ or to SHAME? We inherit and carry that shame throughout our lives… While we focus on couples, when one partner has shame, it creates a sexual imbalance that affects the partnership. We wanted to create an experiential, holistic self-care kit just for vulva owners to celebrate and love on themselves, whether partnered or single — AND we wanted to make self-love accessible on a busy schedule!” As if we weren’t already obsessed! Stay tuned for a Self-Love Penis Kit coming ( ?) soon!

LOVE!

Nova

$149
We-Vibe

Ah, the ever elusive G-spot. The We-Vibe Nova will show you just how much it exists with its unique flexible design shaped to simultaneously stimulate both the G-spot and the clitoris. (Quick fun fact: some experts believe the G-spot to be part of the larger clitoral structure.) We-Vibe’s We-Connect app allows you to play with your partner from anywhere in the world, making this a great option for couples in long-distance relationships. Nova is quiet, USB-rechargeable, eco-friendly, and made with body-safe silicone. It also comes with a lovely silk storage pouch convenient for your travel needs. Oh hey, TSA! So, if you want to help your partner channel their inner supernova à la Zenon, this is the perfect vibe to add to their pleasure trove.

ZETUS LAPETUS!

Lorals

$25
Lorals

When DJ. Khaled said he doesn’t go down on his wife (but obviously expects BJs from her), we said skkkkrt. Thank u, next. Comments like these cause people with vulvas to be insecure about their bits. This shame is wiggity wack and it’s actually preventing a lot of people from enjoying or even receiving oral pleasure. With this in mind, Melanie Cristol created these thin, premium-quality natural latex panties for all those times you want oral sex, but aren’t feeling 100% confident about your partner going down. In her words, “I created Lorals because I want everyone to be able to experience great sex, with full confidence, on our own terms, and in whatever way feels best for our bodies. We deserve all of the pleasure that we crave.”

Does your partner tell you they’re concerned about you going down because they “haven’t showered,” “haven’t shaved,” “have [their] period,” or a million and one other excuses we make that stand in our way of accepting a partner’s desire to make us feel amazing? Lorals is the perfect gift to show them you care and want to put your tongue to work. Wondering if you can still enjoy the experience with a piece of fabric in between? No worries, friend. Research indicates that barriers only get in the way of things you don’t want—not the things you do. In fact, being able to clear your mind of all worries actually allows you to sit back, relax, and fully embrace your pleasure. Lorals is also in the process of seeking FDA approval as a barrier method to replace the far less cute (but still highly encouraged to prevent STIs) dental dam.

I’M DOWN

BioNude Personal Lubricant

$11.99
Good Clean Love

Our motto at tabú? Lube, lube, and even more lube! Actually, it’s “There’s no such thing is TMI,” but there’s also no such thing as too much lube. Don’t believe the myths; using lube doesn’t mean you’re old, not turned on, or dry as my tear ducts after watching This is Us. Lube is the ultimate tool in your sexual play belt. Just like in cars, thorough lubrication helps things run smoothly to keep you safe and gliding. Good Clean Love has been a favorite of ours since discovering that the majority of commercial lubricants you find at your local pharmacy or grocery store are full of icky ingredients like petrochemicals (seriously). We think who and what you put in and on your body are equally important. Founded by Loveologist (coolest title ever) Wendy Strgar, Good Clean Love aims to up the pleasure level for all your solo and shared sexperiences. All Good Clean Love products are free from parabens and petrochemicals, 100% vegan, and my success marker—not at all sticky. Their latest product, BioNude, is designed with Patented Bio Match™ technology to protect the vaginal ecosystem and mimic the body’s natural lubrication. It’s also water-based so it can be used with condoms and sex toys to enhance your pleasure and comfort! BioNude is the perfect stocking stuffer and gift for your special playmate.

LUBE ME UP

Discover Gift Box

$249
WeVibe

Want to get the most bang for your buck? And we mean bang. It doesn’t get much spicier than the We-Vibe Discover Gift Box. When it comes to fun, We-Vibe isn’t playing games (though you certainly will be!). This unique pleasure-filled box of treasures includes 10 products to explore yourself and your partner. “What’s inside?” you ask. Oh, just everything you could ever want. Here we go: 1) We-Vibe Special Edition, 2) Womanizer Starlet, 3) Tango by We-Vibe, 4) Dusk by We-Vibe, 5) We-Vibe Lube, 6) Sexy Dice, 7) Tickler, 8) Kegel Ball, 9) Massage Candle, and 10) a Silky Sash. Touching on all the senses, this gift will open your relationship up to an entirely new world of play. You can open all the boxes in one night or gamify the experience by spacing out your delight. This is oh-so sexy, oh-so fun, and oh-so necessary for your special one! (I should start writing poetry, okayyy?)

Use code TICKLE for 10% off!

LITERALLY YES

Illustrations and image editing by Marcy Gooberman

Must be looooooove on the braaaaain 🧠. Or was that s£x? 👀🤭 Our brains are our largest s£x organs and sometimes they get a little sad, hyperactive, anxious, or overwhelmed. You won’t always be in the mood for s£x and that’s okay! Keep communication with your partner open and ongoing, check in with yourself and your mental health, and lean on the support of a trusted therapist or doctor if you need some extra guidance. 🫶🏽 Anything you would add?

I mean 😏

It is not wrong nor should it feel shameful to ✨seek pleasure.✨ I think those of us who grew up more religious were taught that you should always be in service of others and giving of yourself rather than concerned with our own needs or passions. While it is wonderful to be generous with giving (and can in fact be a source of pleasure), it should be equally encouraged to pursue your own pleasure — it whatever form it may take! It may feel self-indulgent, but why is that a bad thing? Pleasure boosts our mental health. It helps us cope with a difficult world, with anxiety, depression, and stress. It makes us feel good! It gives us something to look forward to. Pleasure helps us connect with others and with ourselves. Pleasure (as long as it is not at the expense of someone else’s safety or well-being) should be a priority, for our joy and for our health. It really is so important! Where do you find pleasure? I personally love a good massage… 💆🏽‍♀️

It’s time for a talk, friend. Let’s be clear, you nor your partner ever has to do *anything* you’re not comfortable with. That said, if it’s something you enjoy and that’s pleasurable to you, it’s okay to ask your partner for it! They can say no, but if they invalidate your pleasure, much less expect you to do something they won’t do?? The ball is then in your court to decide if this is the partner for you. You deserve someone who cares about and prioritizes your pleasure. Who is thrilled to be acquainted with your body, all of it! S-x can be vulnerable to talk about, but when you do…it’s so much better. 👅 included. Ask your partner what their hesitations are and have a *conversation.* Maybe they’re nervous, intimidated, or struggling with shame. Maybe they’re down to try other things you would enjoy and build up to it. The point is, it shouldn’t just be automatically dismissed. You can decide what’s right for you and what makes you feel aroused, validated, and appreciated. Whatever you do, don’t internalize their rejection. Your body is beautiful, desirable, and definitely worthy of pleasure. 😋🥰

A UK study published in the International Urogynecology Journal found that only 46% of participants correctly identified that a female has 3 holes in the external genitalia. 😬 Not great. We’re taught so desperately little about our bodies and so discouraged from exploring them that we don’t even know what we’ve got going on down there! Understanding your own anatomy (and getting educated on your partner’s anatomy) can boost pleasure 1000x!! So take a mirror, use your hands, and get comfy exploring! 🪞🕵🏽‍♀️ And if you really want to get informed (and inspired 😉), head to our website for our basics on pleasure and anatomy. What do you think? Could YOU correctly label a diagram of what lies beneath?

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