Prepping for Anal Sex the Right Way

Fearful of messy anal sex? Unfamiliar with proper douching? Use this pH-balanced cleansing solution so you can bottom with confidence.

Written in partnership with Future Method

Okay, I confess. My long-lasting fear of anal sex or anal play, in general, has stemmed from major poop anxiety. Not only have I heard countless unpleasant experiences with anal sex, but the mere thought of fecal residue being a part of any sexual activity turned me off severely. Granted, it’s not like I don’t know how to wipe correctly or clean my ass properly and the fact that I use wet wipes along with regular toilet paper helps ease my concerns, but still. Up until recently, I’ve been too far gone with fear of the worst-case scenario to attempt anal sex. 

One of my favorite perks as a sex blogger studying to become a sex therapist is the opportunity to overcome stigma and address my fears head-on by trying new products. I recently conquered my concerns regarding messy backdoor play and learned a lot about the ins and outs (?) of preparing for anal sex. Enter, pun again intended, Future Method’s pH balanced anal douche solution, developed by Dr. Evan Goldstein, a renowned colorectal surgeon, gay men’s wellness specialist, and the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical.

The isotonic formula of the Future Method solution includes ingredients that are compatible with the body’s natural composition. This is a more ideal option compared to tap water or store-bought enemas for anal cleansing, the concentration of which causes cells inside your bum to swell, leading to cellular dysfunction in the anus or making the area more susceptible to infections. Each Future Method pack contains a small medical-grade reusable bulb, and the corresponding number of solution-filled pouches, depending on the size of your order (3-pack vs. 12-pack). You can even set up a monthly subscription so you always have a pouch on hand!

Future Method Anal Douche Solution

Not only does the Future Method solution moisturize your intimate area as it cleanses, but as an added bonus, this 3.4 fl. oz. cleansing formula is TSA-friendly for booty pleasure on the go. So, as someone who insists on taking my sexual wellness products with me as I travel, this was the icing on the cake. 

Douching with Future Method

Much to my relief, using the bulb was as easy as these simple steps:

1. Clean the Future Method bulb and tip with warm water and soap before using it. Then attach the tip to the bulb.

2. Deplete the bulb of all air by then pressing on it with the palm of your hand.

3. Remove the cap from the Future method anal douche solution pouch and insert the tip of the bulb fully into the pouch.

4. Let go of the bulb so that it takes in the solution, allowing about half of the contents of the Future Method pouch inside.

5. Apply lube to the bulb tip, then slowly insert 2/3rds of the tip into your anal canal. 

6. Gently squeeze the bulb to allow the liquid to flow into your rectum. Before releasing pressure from the bulb, remove both the bulb and tip, and then expel the solution from your rectum into the toilet. 

7. Repeat instructions #1-6 for the second application if desired. Each pouch contains 2 uses.

8. Disassemble the tip and bulb before cleaning them with water and soap and dry them both before putting them away. Then store in a clean, cool, and dry place in between uses.

Up, up, and away!

Proper Prep for Anal Sex

One of the common myths I’ve heard throughout my life about preparing for anal sex is that it takes a lot of time and dedication to condition one’s body to be fully ready for it, so of course, the doubts still crept in my mind and caused me to question, “Did I do enough? Am I ready yet or is there even more to it?” 

But, Dr. Goldstein insists, “Over preparation is a big problem in the butt community because we have all been trained to think that more is better. But when it comes to preparation, less is actually more.” He also warns that preparing for bottoming doesn’t end with tips about water and cleansing solutions. A balanced and healthy diet is also vital for any preparation involving anal play. 

“If you maintain a healthy diet full of fiber (either natural or through fiber supplementation), preparation should only take a few minutes (and for a lucky few, not necessary at all),” Dr. Goldstein says. “Why fiber? Think back to the last time you saw a dog poop. Have you ever seen them use toilet paper? No! This is because their food is naturally super high in fiber, which causes their stool to bulk together in one smooth, bulky mass.”

Of course, all of this still comes with the understanding that no matter what you do, shit happens. Literally. Be prepared with the mindset that there will always be a chance—no matter how small—that residual stools can occur at any moment. If you want to take extra measures to alleviate any chances of surprise feces, consider using the bathroom beforehand to empty your bowels, insert a finger or butt plug to check for any residue, and use a condom when you’re ready to engage.

If you’re switching between anal and vaginal sex or going for round two, make sure to use a new condom. For maximum peace of mind, you can begin your cleansing routine with Future Method’s proprietary solution at least 30-60 minutes before bottoming. At the end of the day, anal play of any kind is still liable to get a little messy, so it helps to approach these situations with as much knowledge as possible and the utmost respect and maturity toward whoever you’re hooking up with. Oh, and do yourself a favor …don’t skimp on the lube.

Illustrations by Leonor Carvalho

IN PARTNERSHIP WITH

Must be looooooove on the braaaaain 🧠. Or was that s£x? 👀🤭 Our brains are our largest s£x organs and sometimes they get a little sad, hyperactive, anxious, or overwhelmed. You won’t always be in the mood for s£x and that’s okay! Keep communication with your partner open and ongoing, check in with yourself and your mental health, and lean on the support of a trusted therapist or doctor if you need some extra guidance. 🫶🏽 Anything you would add?

I mean 😏

It is not wrong nor should it feel shameful to ✨seek pleasure.✨ I think those of us who grew up more religious were taught that you should always be in service of others and giving of yourself rather than concerned with our own needs or passions. While it is wonderful to be generous with giving (and can in fact be a source of pleasure), it should be equally encouraged to pursue your own pleasure — it whatever form it may take! It may feel self-indulgent, but why is that a bad thing? Pleasure boosts our mental health. It helps us cope with a difficult world, with anxiety, depression, and stress. It makes us feel good! It gives us something to look forward to. Pleasure helps us connect with others and with ourselves. Pleasure (as long as it is not at the expense of someone else’s safety or well-being) should be a priority, for our joy and for our health. It really is so important! Where do you find pleasure? I personally love a good massage… 💆🏽‍♀️

It’s time for a talk, friend. Let’s be clear, you nor your partner ever has to do *anything* you’re not comfortable with. That said, if it’s something you enjoy and that’s pleasurable to you, it’s okay to ask your partner for it! They can say no, but if they invalidate your pleasure, much less expect you to do something they won’t do?? The ball is then in your court to decide if this is the partner for you. You deserve someone who cares about and prioritizes your pleasure. Who is thrilled to be acquainted with your body, all of it! S-x can be vulnerable to talk about, but when you do…it’s so much better. 👅 included. Ask your partner what their hesitations are and have a *conversation.* Maybe they’re nervous, intimidated, or struggling with shame. Maybe they’re down to try other things you would enjoy and build up to it. The point is, it shouldn’t just be automatically dismissed. You can decide what’s right for you and what makes you feel aroused, validated, and appreciated. Whatever you do, don’t internalize their rejection. Your body is beautiful, desirable, and definitely worthy of pleasure. 😋🥰

A UK study published in the International Urogynecology Journal found that only 46% of participants correctly identified that a female has 3 holes in the external genitalia. 😬 Not great. We’re taught so desperately little about our bodies and so discouraged from exploring them that we don’t even know what we’ve got going on down there! Understanding your own anatomy (and getting educated on your partner’s anatomy) can boost pleasure 1000x!! So take a mirror, use your hands, and get comfy exploring! 🪞🕵🏽‍♀️ And if you really want to get informed (and inspired 😉), head to our website for our basics on pleasure and anatomy. What do you think? Could YOU correctly label a diagram of what lies beneath?

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