How to Clean for Anal Sex

“I’m afraid there will be poop.”

So, you’re curious about anal sex prep? Let’s talk about cleansing.

What is Anal Cleansing?

Anal cleansing is the proper hygienic care of your backside. With great anal hygiene, you can remain relaxed and comfortable during sex, ensuring your anal experience can remain positive for you and your partner. You can keep your anal area clean by using external and internal methods.

External hygiene really boils down to keeping the area clean regularly and before you’re ready to have anal sex. You can do that with regular washing with soap and warm water or by installing a bidet at home. You can also shave or wax your anal region, but that is a personal aesthetic preference (and comes with potential problems like ingrown hairs or irritation).

Internal cleansing methods are just as important as your external routine. The best internal cleansing method is to maintain a healthy, high-fiber diet. The other method, douching, isn’t strictly necessary for anal hygiene, but many people prefer to have this extra step in the cleaning process. We recommend that you proceed with caution if you do opt to douche so you do not injure yourself.

How to Diet

Having a healthy diet is a great way to ensure that your anus and rectum remain fit for pleasure. Not only does eating right make you feel better, but it will also make your backside feel better as well because you likely won’t have loose or compact poops that can make the area sore.

We recommend eating the following foods:

• Beans

• Almonds

• Oatmeal

• Spaghetti

• Popcorn

• Bread

How to Anal Douche

The main anal douches are a pre-filled store bought enema, a bulb douche, a water bag douche, and a shower douche. Bespoke Surgical recommends you find the one that suits you best, with the understanding of all the principles for their proper use. Our best advice: keep it simple. You only need to clean a few inches, not your entire gut. The anal canal is about 4-6” deep, so contrary to popular belief, only a minimal amount of preparation is needed. Avoid the temptation to vigorously squeeze in an entire bucket full of water. Think of how a colonic works — what goes in, comes right back out. It’s just a gentle rinse cycle.

Is Anal Douching Safe? Risk of Over-Douching.

Over-douching (cleaning too deep, with too much force, or with too much water) can cause problems, such as douche dependency, prolonged anal irritation, elevated mucus production, and lengthening or incomplete contraction of the rectum/colon, which can lead to chronic constipation. One’s anal sphincters keep everything inside and the constant pushing required for douching can cause injury to these muscles, let alone just the insertion of a device can cause added localized injury. Proper use and lots of lubrication aids proper mechanics. Additionally, your gut contains some good bacteria that assists in digesting food, absorbing nutrients, and keeping bad bacteria in check. Aggressive and frequent anal douching with products currently out in the market can actually flush away the good shit (pun intended), leaving you susceptible to a whole host of stomach and intestinal issues. Aside from the health risks, over-douching can also loosen stools that are higher up in the rectum, which wouldn’t normally interfere with anal sex, making it even messier than if you hadn’t douched at all. Remember: douching with commercially prepared enemas or just plain tap water creates a lot of mucus and dryness in the area, which can cause cell damage, cracking, and bleeding, making it easier to contract and pass along both HIV and other STDs.

Conclusion

The biggest piece of advice Bespoke Surgical can offer is to listen to your body. It knows what it can handle and what it can’t. Along with this, it’s key to make sure that you are eating well and maintaining great external hygiene. One easy tip is to prove to yourself, even before you douche, how clean you truly are by using a butt plug or dilator, preferably light-colored, to see whether or not any residual stool is even present. If it’s all clean, you can avoid douching altogether. The important thing to remember is that accidents happen and everybody poops. So, if you find yourself in a situation where things have gotten a little messy, DON’T PANIC! You’re not a freak… you’re perfectly normal.

This article was originally published on Bespoke Surgical’s website and reposted with their permission. Bespoke Surgical is an elite anal surgery practice purpose-built for today’s gay male founded by Dr. Evan Goldstein.

Header image illustrated by Leonor Carvalho

Must be looooooove on the braaaaain 🧠. Or was that s£x? 👀🤭 Our brains are our largest s£x organs and sometimes they get a little sad, hyperactive, anxious, or overwhelmed. You won’t always be in the mood for s£x and that’s okay! Keep communication with your partner open and ongoing, check in with yourself and your mental health, and lean on the support of a trusted therapist or doctor if you need some extra guidance. 🫶🏽 Anything you would add?

I mean 😏

It is not wrong nor should it feel shameful to ✨seek pleasure.✨ I think those of us who grew up more religious were taught that you should always be in service of others and giving of yourself rather than concerned with our own needs or passions. While it is wonderful to be generous with giving (and can in fact be a source of pleasure), it should be equally encouraged to pursue your own pleasure — it whatever form it may take! It may feel self-indulgent, but why is that a bad thing? Pleasure boosts our mental health. It helps us cope with a difficult world, with anxiety, depression, and stress. It makes us feel good! It gives us something to look forward to. Pleasure helps us connect with others and with ourselves. Pleasure (as long as it is not at the expense of someone else’s safety or well-being) should be a priority, for our joy and for our health. It really is so important! Where do you find pleasure? I personally love a good massage… 💆🏽‍♀️

It’s time for a talk, friend. Let’s be clear, you nor your partner ever has to do *anything* you’re not comfortable with. That said, if it’s something you enjoy and that’s pleasurable to you, it’s okay to ask your partner for it! They can say no, but if they invalidate your pleasure, much less expect you to do something they won’t do?? The ball is then in your court to decide if this is the partner for you. You deserve someone who cares about and prioritizes your pleasure. Who is thrilled to be acquainted with your body, all of it! S-x can be vulnerable to talk about, but when you do…it’s so much better. 👅 included. Ask your partner what their hesitations are and have a *conversation.* Maybe they’re nervous, intimidated, or struggling with shame. Maybe they’re down to try other things you would enjoy and build up to it. The point is, it shouldn’t just be automatically dismissed. You can decide what’s right for you and what makes you feel aroused, validated, and appreciated. Whatever you do, don’t internalize their rejection. Your body is beautiful, desirable, and definitely worthy of pleasure. 😋🥰

A UK study published in the International Urogynecology Journal found that only 46% of participants correctly identified that a female has 3 holes in the external genitalia. 😬 Not great. We’re taught so desperately little about our bodies and so discouraged from exploring them that we don’t even know what we’ve got going on down there! Understanding your own anatomy (and getting educated on your partner’s anatomy) can boost pleasure 1000x!! So take a mirror, use your hands, and get comfy exploring! 🪞🕵🏽‍♀️ And if you really want to get informed (and inspired 😉), head to our website for our basics on pleasure and anatomy. What do you think? Could YOU correctly label a diagram of what lies beneath?

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