6 Sexy Gifts for You, a Friend, or Your Partner

This holiday season, give the gift of pleasure.

Guilty pleasure is out and self-love, adoration, and pleasure are in! Let’s start embracing the things that bring us joy (assuming they don’t harm yourself or anyone else). I’m talking all aspects of pleasure. For example, the number of Americans who read for pleasure on a given day has fallen by 30 percent since 2004. Research indicates that this might be due to the rise in television popularity. While there’s nothing wrong with swapping one interest for another, it does beg the question, are these two activities equally fulfilling or am I simply opting for the more “convenient” option? I encourage you to identify something that brings you pleasure, perhaps something you haven’t been making time for recently, and think about new and creative ways you can bring more of it into your life this holiday season and beyond.

This article was written in partnership with the following brands.

Oh! To Go Bag

$34
Unbound

A recent study found that in first-time heterosexual hookups, 31% of people with a penis reached orgasm, compared to only 10% of people with a vagina. It’s 2018 and we’re ready to close the wage gap, the orgasm gap, and our society’s obsession with the thigh gap. Empowered sex is what we’re all about and this adorable pouch from Unbound has everything you need inside for solo or partner play. Great sex requires knowing your body and your turn-ons and being able to communicate that information with a partner. Let this bag be the entry point to an ultra-spicy conversation. What’s inside, you ask? A cute lil’ vibe, vagina-friendly lube, stimulating gels, a condom, and a wipe! Seriously, bring this on a date and you will be the real MVP (Most Visionary Pleasure-seeker). The Oh! To Go Bag is also great for traveling home during the holidays. I mean, why go a day without it when it’s so convenient and cute to bring along? This is the kind of gift you buy for yourself and give a second to your BFF. Literally, why not?

Tenuto

$110-120
MysteryVibe

A wearable vibrator for penises? Now this is what dreams are made of. The Tenuto is MysteryVibe’s second vibrator after the astoundingly customizable, award-winning Crescendo. Tenuto, which means “a note or chord held for its full time value or slightly more” lives up to its name and will have both the wearer and their partner singing all night long. It’s highly adaptable so you can get creative and find the right tune for you. Tenuto is currently available for pre-order, which has the added bonus of extending the holiday celebrations into the new year (Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, after all)! Quick side story: Whenever my mom used to buy me something that was sold out or on backorder, she would wrap up a box with a print-out of the product inside. I highly recommend this trick and can confirm that it’s exciting to have something to look forward to after the holidays die down. Tenuto and Crescendo are also both on sale right now (15% and 25% respectively) so it is an excellent time to snag these vibes!

Awaken

$48
Foria

Not so fun fact: Nearly 75% of people with a vagina experience pain during intercourse at some point during their lives. FORIA creates high-quality products to ease vaginal pain for both sex and menstruation. Their product, Awaken, exists to spray the pain away. FORIA’s Awaken is an arousal lube formulated with broad-spectrum CBD and kava kava extract that smells like chocolate and mint — yum! Awaken not only treats pain, but also enhances pleasure and has been known to elevate many an orgasm. Trust me, you will not want to sleep on this product (pun, most definitely, intended).

Womanizer Premium

$199
Womanizer

Ready to take your pleasure to the next level? The Womanizer is known for its orgasm reliability. As one customer raved online, “Two minutes later (yes, it only took two minutes), my body experienced sensations it never has before. My feet still haven’t uncurled and my fingers are tingly and numb, struggling to write this review.” Do I even need to go on? In its latest version, the Womanizer Premium maintains its unique clitoral suction technology and boasts 12 intensity levels that will have you begging for more. Let me put it this way, this handy treasure is certainly the gift that keeps on giving.

Novice Plug

$130
B-vibe

Want to explore some anal play alone or with a partner? The Novice Plug is the perfect size for beginners and is made from premium, smooth as silk silicone. It’s also non-porous, making it a breeze to clean. What’s super fun about this plug is its 6 intensity levels and 15 (yes, fif-teen) vibration patterns. Grab your favorite lube and vibe out with this plug! Remember, silicone lubes can destroy silicone toys, so your best bet is a thick, high viscosity water-based lube. Enjoy!

Bellesa

$0-129
Bellesa

Okay, so Tumblr blocked porn and most tube sites have a tendency to err on the side of cringe. Enter, Bellesa. As their name implies, Bellesa is a beautiful way to explore your sexual fantasies through both video and written content. As Bellesa founder Michelle Shnaidman told us, “Bellesa was built by asking more foundational questions like: ‘If adult entertainment was made in the vision of a woman since day one, (all expectations, norms, scripts out the window) what would that look like?’” Um, can I get a helllllllz yes!? Bellesa’s Boutique also carries amazing vibrators to use during your masturbation sesh and adorable shirts with powerful expressions such as, “Tacos Orgasms Social Justice.” I’ll take one of each.

Illustrations and image editing by Marcy Gooberman

Must be looooooove on the braaaaain 🧠. Or was that s£x? 👀🤭 Our brains are our largest s£x organs and sometimes they get a little sad, hyperactive, anxious, or overwhelmed. You won’t always be in the mood for s£x and that’s okay! Keep communication with your partner open and ongoing, check in with yourself and your mental health, and lean on the support of a trusted therapist or doctor if you need some extra guidance. 🫶🏽 Anything you would add?

I mean 😏

It is not wrong nor should it feel shameful to ✨seek pleasure.✨ I think those of us who grew up more religious were taught that you should always be in service of others and giving of yourself rather than concerned with our own needs or passions. While it is wonderful to be generous with giving (and can in fact be a source of pleasure), it should be equally encouraged to pursue your own pleasure — it whatever form it may take! It may feel self-indulgent, but why is that a bad thing? Pleasure boosts our mental health. It helps us cope with a difficult world, with anxiety, depression, and stress. It makes us feel good! It gives us something to look forward to. Pleasure helps us connect with others and with ourselves. Pleasure (as long as it is not at the expense of someone else’s safety or well-being) should be a priority, for our joy and for our health. It really is so important! Where do you find pleasure? I personally love a good massage… 💆🏽‍♀️

It’s time for a talk, friend. Let’s be clear, you nor your partner ever has to do *anything* you’re not comfortable with. That said, if it’s something you enjoy and that’s pleasurable to you, it’s okay to ask your partner for it! They can say no, but if they invalidate your pleasure, much less expect you to do something they won’t do?? The ball is then in your court to decide if this is the partner for you. You deserve someone who cares about and prioritizes your pleasure. Who is thrilled to be acquainted with your body, all of it! S-x can be vulnerable to talk about, but when you do…it’s so much better. 👅 included. Ask your partner what their hesitations are and have a *conversation.* Maybe they’re nervous, intimidated, or struggling with shame. Maybe they’re down to try other things you would enjoy and build up to it. The point is, it shouldn’t just be automatically dismissed. You can decide what’s right for you and what makes you feel aroused, validated, and appreciated. Whatever you do, don’t internalize their rejection. Your body is beautiful, desirable, and definitely worthy of pleasure. 😋🥰

A UK study published in the International Urogynecology Journal found that only 46% of participants correctly identified that a female has 3 holes in the external genitalia. 😬 Not great. We’re taught so desperately little about our bodies and so discouraged from exploring them that we don’t even know what we’ve got going on down there! Understanding your own anatomy (and getting educated on your partner’s anatomy) can boost pleasure 1000x!! So take a mirror, use your hands, and get comfy exploring! 🪞🕵🏽‍♀️ And if you really want to get informed (and inspired 😉), head to our website for our basics on pleasure and anatomy. What do you think? Could YOU correctly label a diagram of what lies beneath?

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