Verified by Jessica O'Reilly, PhD
Now that we have the basics down they can serve as a roadmap to pleasure. But how do we bridge the gap between knowing where all the parts are and how they work to creating an enjoyable, erotic experience?
First off, it’s important that sex feels organic and natural. That can be achieved by making sure you feel comfortable with your partner. You also need to be able to communicate well so you can tell each other what you want more of and what to pass over.
Knowing how to entice other parts of the body besides the genitals is a great place to start. There are some sizzling hot spots in places you might not realize. Consider exploring the following erogenous zones. Having these down pat will help you relax and inspire you to discover more while you’re in the moment.
Remember, the body is only one part of the equation. If you've heard the phrase, “the most important sexual organ is the brain,” that’s the truth. Physical stimulation alone won’t get you very far if your head isn’t in the game. Use things like fantasy, seduction, and dirty talk to deepen your connection with you partner.
The Ears, Neck, and Collarbone
This is a perfect area of the body to move to just as making out starts to get hot and heavy. While you kiss, stroke these areas with your hands. Once the erotic tension builds, nibble, lick, and kiss the ears and move on to the nape of the neck. Work your way slowly downward to the collarbone, shoulders, and toward the sensitive underarms.
The Backs of the Knees
This is a surprising but effective sweet spot. Full of nerve endings, this area comes alive when you gently caress, kiss, or breathe lightly on it. Some may enjoy a sensual, soft, oily massage on this erogenous zone too.
The Small of the Back
The small of the back is especially rich in nerve endings. Massaging the area after a long day can be incredibly soothing. Women in particular find having this area kissed, rubbed, and licked really ramps up their desire. Some have even been known to orgasm from this kind of stimulation.
For any gender nipple play might be a turn on. This area can also be uncomfortably sensitive or even painful for some people. It's important that before you go for the nipples you ask if it’s something your partner enjoys first. If so, have them guide you so you can learn to apply the right amount of pressure for their liking. Rolling the nipple between wet fingers or gently sucking are often favorites.
Don’t, however, just focus on the nipple. For those with breast tissue, the sides of the breasts near the underarm are particularly sensitive. The spot just above the areola is too. Explore each breast individually. You may find that she favors one side to the other.
The Inner Thighs
Stroking and kissing the sensitive, soft skin of the inner thighs can be an instant turn-on. The proximity to the genitals kicks the etoticism into overdrive when exploring this area.
Speed, Pressure & Consistency
Varying the speed and pressure of your sucking, licking, and touching creates a spectrum of sensations. Experiment to find out what speed and pressure combination you both like best and when. Once you’ve discovered what really gets the engines revving and are working toward climax, focus on consistency. By this point you’ve established a rhythm. If you want to continue toward climax sticking with that rhythm will encourage orgasm.
Take your time! Having an erotic road map doesn’t mean you need to get to your destination quickly. Mind-blowing sex requires creativity and exploration. It takes time to [explore your own body] and your partner's body too.
When it comes to genital stimulation don’t just zero in on the clitoral glans or the penis. Stop to explore the vulva or testicles or perineum, too. Engage some of these areas simultaneously to slowly and effectively take your partner over the edge.